Saturday, August 16, 2008
Ronan Keating ft. Yusuf Islam (Cat Stevens)-Father And Son
I like this, and I seem to be having trouble embedding stuff at the moment. So lets see if it works or not.
THE COMMANDER IN CHIEF TEST
McSame is just man who keeps on giving.. How can anyone actually take this idiot seriously.
dixie chicks not ready to make nice
I'm not ready.. Forgive sounds good.. Forget I'm not sure I could...
Describes my family.. The insanity of my family...
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Trying another video
If it's works it's a good one.
If it doesn't here's a link that should work anyway..
http://www.break.com/index/amazing-blob-jump-launch.html
If it doesn't here's a link that should work anyway..
http://www.break.com/index/amazing-blob-jump-launch.html
Monday, August 4, 2008
Forgiveness
How do I forgive myself?
I who am nothing, no worse than nothing. Everything I am is a travesty of what I once was. Everything that was important to me I have walked away from. Everyone who was close to me I have hurt them and walked away. Everything I once held sacred has turned to ash.
It's a nasty place to be, and it's where I am. Hatred yes of myself, of others, I claim that I was forced into this mess. Forced by my family, my insane family.
Normality? What is that?
Is it what they claim I must be. Or is it what I choose. What I choose isn't normal. I have no friends, only acquaintances. I who trust no one. I who have being betrayed too much, and too deeply to trust anyone, even myself, ever again.
"Oh you could turn to God". I could. But I consider the Christian God to have the morals, and manners, of a spoilt child. And the others are worse.
The Church.. "Fuck the children, protect the church.. " In more ways than one. I can never go back. Not now. The hurt, the hatred, the anger is just too deep.
It's a bleakness, a blackness, that is more extreme than any outsider could ever imagine. The next thing of course is what next. I could kill myself... HA!
I wish. I have failed at everything I've ever tried including suicide.. Multiple attempts.. I have given up on it.. Someone, somewhere, is determined to keep me going for something. All that I can is to endure. The anger, the fear, the lonliness, the frustration. It's a very nasty place to be.
Family.. I'm not allowed to move.. (Unless I walk away from a trust fund that is my only source of income..) Not allowed pets.. Not allowed to work.. Not allowed to study. No allowed to do anything except sit here and rot...
Fuck em..
Yet...
As an unemployable middle aged male walking away from everything, even as uncomfortable and loathsome as my life is, is a hard decision.
I am who I am.. Yet what I am is dieing.
Dieing inside.
This is my nightmare. This is my dream. This is the travesty that is my life..
I who am nothing, no worse than nothing. Everything I am is a travesty of what I once was. Everything that was important to me I have walked away from. Everyone who was close to me I have hurt them and walked away. Everything I once held sacred has turned to ash.
It's a nasty place to be, and it's where I am. Hatred yes of myself, of others, I claim that I was forced into this mess. Forced by my family, my insane family.
Normality? What is that?
Is it what they claim I must be. Or is it what I choose. What I choose isn't normal. I have no friends, only acquaintances. I who trust no one. I who have being betrayed too much, and too deeply to trust anyone, even myself, ever again.
"Oh you could turn to God". I could. But I consider the Christian God to have the morals, and manners, of a spoilt child. And the others are worse.
The Church.. "Fuck the children, protect the church.. " In more ways than one. I can never go back. Not now. The hurt, the hatred, the anger is just too deep.
It's a bleakness, a blackness, that is more extreme than any outsider could ever imagine. The next thing of course is what next. I could kill myself... HA!
I wish. I have failed at everything I've ever tried including suicide.. Multiple attempts.. I have given up on it.. Someone, somewhere, is determined to keep me going for something. All that I can is to endure. The anger, the fear, the lonliness, the frustration. It's a very nasty place to be.
Family.. I'm not allowed to move.. (Unless I walk away from a trust fund that is my only source of income..) Not allowed pets.. Not allowed to work.. Not allowed to study. No allowed to do anything except sit here and rot...
Fuck em..
Yet...
As an unemployable middle aged male walking away from everything, even as uncomfortable and loathsome as my life is, is a hard decision.
I am who I am.. Yet what I am is dieing.
Dieing inside.
This is my nightmare. This is my dream. This is the travesty that is my life..
Friday, August 1, 2008
Problems with videos
I have no idea what I'm doing wrong but I can't get you tube videos to come up at the moment. I'm going to keep trying though I've got a couple of good ones that I'd like to put up here.. If I could only work out how.
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