Death. I've being forced to look hard at the face of death of the last two days. I have watched my father on his death bed.
Six days ago he had a stroke, his second serious one, unlike the earlier one(s) -most of which he told no one about-, this one is rather serious. No movement on one side no movement of his lower face. Internal bleeding, causing more (minor) strokes, no control over his throat. And more. The clear consensus is that he is dieing.
I had, originally, being told it was not all that bad. Then last Wednesday his condition started to deteriorate. By Friday it was bad enough that the entire family was called together, including in one case a nephew who flew in from Perth.
That was after he had spent the day day of Friday emphatically refusing both food and water. Having people there all weekend though made a difference. He is now slightly better, still dieing, but now it's going to be several day, if not weeks. And that is causing chaos.
Everyone was willing to put things to one side for the end of his life but the delay is causing a mess. There are business contracts that have to be delivered on, there are jobs that people have to go back to, house (and rent) payments to make.
It is all very very messy.
I've left, and I'm feeling more than slightly cowardly about having done so, yet I know that sometime in the next week, or two (no more than that according to four Dr's) I'll be back down there for the funeral.
It's depressing but that's not the subject of this post as such. I can cope with it, but for everyone else with their rigid schedules to keep it is causing chaos.
My relationship with my family can only be described as crap. Yet my father, in spite of him disowning me at my twentieth birthday party, wasn't actually all that bad, he at least made some attempt to apologize (probably the only one in my immediate family who has ever done so).
I don't particularly feel close to him, but then again that goes for everyone in my family, but at least I had no reason to have fresh fights with him. I'll miss him when he's gone, yet in some ways I won't. The delay only makes that harder.
It's one thing to steel yourself for someones death but when the death is delayed for a week, or two, it makes the process that much more drawn out and painful.
Weird times, painful times..
TiO
Six days ago he had a stroke, his second serious one, unlike the earlier one(s) -most of which he told no one about-, this one is rather serious. No movement on one side no movement of his lower face. Internal bleeding, causing more (minor) strokes, no control over his throat. And more. The clear consensus is that he is dieing.
I had, originally, being told it was not all that bad. Then last Wednesday his condition started to deteriorate. By Friday it was bad enough that the entire family was called together, including in one case a nephew who flew in from Perth.
That was after he had spent the day day of Friday emphatically refusing both food and water. Having people there all weekend though made a difference. He is now slightly better, still dieing, but now it's going to be several day, if not weeks. And that is causing chaos.
Everyone was willing to put things to one side for the end of his life but the delay is causing a mess. There are business contracts that have to be delivered on, there are jobs that people have to go back to, house (and rent) payments to make.
It is all very very messy.
I've left, and I'm feeling more than slightly cowardly about having done so, yet I know that sometime in the next week, or two (no more than that according to four Dr's) I'll be back down there for the funeral.
It's depressing but that's not the subject of this post as such. I can cope with it, but for everyone else with their rigid schedules to keep it is causing chaos.
My relationship with my family can only be described as crap. Yet my father, in spite of him disowning me at my twentieth birthday party, wasn't actually all that bad, he at least made some attempt to apologize (probably the only one in my immediate family who has ever done so).
I don't particularly feel close to him, but then again that goes for everyone in my family, but at least I had no reason to have fresh fights with him. I'll miss him when he's gone, yet in some ways I won't. The delay only makes that harder.
It's one thing to steel yourself for someones death but when the death is delayed for a week, or two, it makes the process that much more drawn out and painful.
Weird times, painful times..
TiO
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